What does this Christmas mean to you?

After the longest night, I arose to a flock of white pelicans soaring in the pink light of the latest sunrise of the year. My heart soared with them. I gathered the Christmas cards written during the pause of the winter solstice while listening to heavenly voices singing Gregorian Chant, put on a down vest and walked through the woods to the mailbox. I was reminded of New England by the chirping chickadees, their black caps against the red maple leaves. I breathed in the cool fresh air. As the temperatures rose with the sun, the marsh turned gold outside my window. Christmas morning is three days away, but should be today with the perfect light shining down on a weary world. No matter how much planning or shopping, the Christmas Spirit cannot be manufactured. Yet, at one time or another who hasn't tried to create a fairy tale Christmas, if not for ourselves, perhaps for young ones in the family?

Christmas Past:

'Twas the night before Christmas when a very skinny Santa appeared at my mother's door. The five of us in our flannel-footed jammies fixed our eyes on the white beard and disshoveled hair, topped with a jingle-bell cap. Hmmm? Is this the real Santa? I wondered. He came inside with a box (not a sack) of wrapped presents and called each of us by name. Then, with a twinkle in his eye he spotted the spinet piano. He sat down and played jingle bells...singing all the way! Does the real Santa play the piano? I didn't think so. He let out a laugh that sounded just like my next door neighbor's. I began to see through the scheme the adults had cooked up for us. Nice try!

The darkness of the winter solstice holds within each Christmas story the"hopes and fears of all the years". I am lingering in the darkness as Christmas Present fast approaches, remembering my French Canadian grandmother, Marie Laure, who died on Christmas morning when I was a teenager. I reached her final age this year. Carrying her name as my nom de plume and middle name keeps her close in my heart of hearts. I loved the way she looked at me---seeing through me---into me. What a perfect gift to give and to receive year round.

This year, Memere, is giving another lasting gift to me and my children and their children---As good as frankincense, myrrh and gold all wrapped up with a big red bow! I had asked for this in my letters sent up North with a hope and a prayer, and fingers crossed. Sometimes, you get what you wish for. . .

On Christmas Day when all the other gifts are unwrapped, I will give my my son and daughter and three young adult grandkids the gift of a lifetime from their great-great-grandparents born in Quebec City.

Joyeaux Noel! Je me souviens.